just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
