so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
