Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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