it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
