Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
