Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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