all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize