I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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