I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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