I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
