I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
