But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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