I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
