So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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