Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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