New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
