They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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