All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
