Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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