he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
