would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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