How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
