just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
