So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
