I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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