dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
