Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you never un-have a 4some
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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