Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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