I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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