I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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