I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
