garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
