I'm eating all of the evidence.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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