doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
