i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he shaved USA in his pubs
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
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