yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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