it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize