it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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