as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
