I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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