So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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