u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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