So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
