So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i love accidental penises.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
only you would photoshop your dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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