i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
