You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
