Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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