even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Randomize
