no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
