i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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