My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
