I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize