this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
