i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
