I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
