that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
