He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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