I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
