everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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