Don't make out with my wife yet
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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