This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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