Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You had me at "let me see your balls"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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