guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize