I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
FUCK WHALES
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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