I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
